Sunday, May 31, 2009

Stuck

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. - Ephesians 5: 1-2

I'm stuck in my spiritual life while haunted with this scripture. It dawned on me recently that the whole sacrifice thing has to do with living in love. When something gives it's life for another, the aroma is infinitely pleasing to God. The way that we lay our lives down for others is by putting them before us. To deny our ourselves for others.

That is just too dang hard for me! And that is why I'm stuck. Nothing else really matters about this Christian life if I can't at least do that. So why bother?

Oh I can be nice, loving, giving and self sacrificing in a myriad of ways. I look good on the outside, and it's honestly genuine. However, if someone makes me feel the least bit stepped on, unappreciated, taken for granted or devalued, then look out. I won't be laying my life down for them anymore! Then there's the people who just plain annoy and irritate me. I'm not so willing to put them first either.

Once I heard Beth Moore say that 90% of our sin is in our reactions. That is totally the case with me. I could be so holy and spiritual if I lived alone on a desert island. I don't go looking to sin, but other people get to me. I just can't stop taking offense, harbouring resentment and feeling self protective. I just want to be able to let it all go and live in love despite others. What is wrong with me??? I long to be.....unfettered.

I've been thinking of something I read a while back, that if you can't seem to stop a certain sin, then you just don't hate it enough. I think that's why I'm writing about this here. I really do hate this and it makes it more real when I write about it.

Father - I own this sin - I hate this sin - forgive me and deliver me from it. I put my trust in you working in me to accomplish the impossible. AMEN

6 comments:

Christy said...

Ruth, I don't think I thanked you for stopping by my blog, so thank you!

You really hit the nail on the head here with your post. It's like you got inside my head (and heart). I have the same struggle. I'm so thankful for a heavenly Father who is long suffering and patient with me. But sometimes (most of the time) I think I take Him for granted knowing that He is long suffering and patient.

Thanks for sharing. I'll try to stop by here again.

Ruth said...

Thank you Christy. Your post encouraged me too. It's always encouraging to know we're not alone.

Valorosa said...

lol

I'm thinking that you have asked for love and the ability to love ?

check this post and comments out ;-)

Ruth said...

Oh my gosh Val! You're right. A shining light has come to show me all the areas where I'm failing to love. I have asked to be able to love.
I quote you from Nate's post.

"the same holds true ... a blazing light will shine and show every area in your own life where you fail to love others .... a great opportunity to get our acts together.

For if we learn to unconditionally love we need not learn anything else."

How do I learn to love? How do I cross over from seeing where I fail at love to living in love?

Valorosa said...

Pretty sure it is a process ...
I know I am undergoing it in the most severe way right now.
And failing I might add ...
But the Lord is so gracious to allow me to keep trying and keep following the Holy Spirit's lead

A lot of people may not call them failures to love ...
they would say I am only being human ... which is true, but I know there is a place where there will be victory and the Spirit of God will reign victorious in me.

Pressing on to get to the finish line. ;-)

Ruth said...

Yes I too believe that we can live in love with God's grace. If I learn to love, I won't worry so much about myself.

So I will press on with you Val. We will be running mates.