tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91041614681542126242024-03-12T19:22:59.158-07:00grains of truthThen you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:32Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-76730142752374157322012-02-22T10:03:00.000-08:002012-02-22T10:03:38.122-08:00A Fresh StartIt's a new year and I'm giving my blog a fresh start having abandoned it for almost a year. Shamefully, I can pick up where I left off because I'm not much further ahead. Some areas, thankfully I've grown. Others, not but an inch.<br />
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I've spent the past year with Freedom Session, having come away with a new and practicing understanding of forgiving others and making amends. Both huge leaps for me.<br />
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Since September, I've been facilitating a group of 10 ladies through Freedom Session. A daunting but awesomely rewarding task. It might not be for everyone, but to walk through pain with others in authentic and open community is where I feel alive. It's where I experience God.<br />
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But then there's the mere inch of growth part.<br />
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<em>"Someones got to be the hero"..........</em>those were the words spoken to me about my marriage over a year ago by my three friends, my confidantes and prayer partners.<br />
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I get that. Is it not the essential message of the bible? To lay down ones life for another. That Jesus lay down his life for us. <br />
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I get it in my head, but in practice I am this donkey digging in it's heels, unyielding, frustrating any hope of going anywhere.<br />
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How can two people who are postured in a stance of self protection from years of reciprocal hurts, find the way to vulnerability and intimacy?<br />
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My heart is telling me the way is through yielding. Swallowing my pride, my entitlement and dismantling my walls of protection. Resisting my urge to dig my heels in. Then perhaps there's a chance for abundance in my marriage.<br />
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If any of my readers are still out there.......please pray for me....that I will find the courage and humility to rise to the occasion.<br />
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<br />Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-58376879123819588942011-02-10T19:38:00.000-08:002011-03-15T09:44:36.990-07:00StuckYes I got stuck half way through my Love Dare.<br /><br />It was the part about forgiveness.<br /><br />If I was going to be honest with myself, forgiving my spouse and asking for forgiveness was going to take more than the two days allotted in the book. And I didn't think I could skip over it so I just put the book down at that point.<br /><br />However, about the same time I started The Love Dare I joined a<a href="http://www.freedomsession.com/"> Freedom Session </a>class. I had an idea that this class was going to lead me where I needed to go at a much deeper level.<br /><br />And so it has. Based on a 12 step program we meet weekly for group DVD sessions and then break into our small groups for discussion and review of our homework. We dig into the hard stuff. It's all pretty honest.<br /><br />Maybe it's the deep honesty that got me stuck. At this point in the class, we have made "a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves". We've listed all our hurts that come to mind and the people involved. We've listed all of those we've hurt. And then we read them out to a trusted sponsor.<br /><br />Whew! It was actually very cleansing. I've done much of this already over the past few years but this is very thorough and has led me to process a lot of current dynamics in my life that are all interconnected.<br /><br />In a way, I'm rather disapointed in myself. On the other hand........I'm being honest.....patient....submitting myself to the process. We'll see where that takes me.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-67925682173249375792010-09-24T22:24:00.000-07:002010-10-13T09:20:04.581-07:00I'm Doing It!After my last post, where I told my self to just stop thinking about The Love Dare and "just do it", I visited the <a href="http://40daylovedare.blogspot.com/">40 Day Love Dare blogspot </a>where Jennifer and Eric were just finishing their 40 days. Near the end of her post, Jennifer writes:<br /><br /><em>"If you haven't started the Love Dare, <span style="color:#ff0000;">just do it</span>! It will change your marriage and just maybe your life."</em><br /><br />Can you believe that? Is that's not a bit fat Holy Spirit nudge or what? It certainly made me think for a minute that God is totally behind this and the time is right.<br /><br />I got my Friday morning group of ladies on board and we're all doing this together. We watched the movie <a href="http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/">"Fire Proof"</a> together and then picked a date to start.<br /><br />We're on day 14 and the biggest change has been in me. Each day gives me something new to think about, a new approach to relating to my husband, and of course an action to take. Sometimes it's hard to carry out a particular task on that day so I go back and check it off when I've done it a few days later. Feels like a scavenger hunt.<br /><br />I realize that I have been quite hard hearted and self protective in my marriage. I find it hard to be vulnerable and give of myself and I'm not quite sure why. But, I'm taking this one day at a time and I'm trusting that the Lord is in this with us.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-72896828796104494802010-08-05T23:51:00.000-07:002010-08-08T13:43:05.240-07:00Just Do It!Looking back over my past blog entries, over and over I talk about my desire for humility and selflessness. And yet, why do I find it so hard to put that into practice, especially with the most important relationship in my life?<br /><br />Have you heard of <a href="http://www.40daylovedare.com/default.asp">the love dare</a> from the movie "Fire Proof"? I'm considering it. In fact I just registered on-line but I need to get the book. Somehow, I think I'll only make it to day 3 and then give up because I'm not getting anything back. I'm so tit for tat.<br /><br />What compels me to try is the sad realization that I have been thinking about these things for years but am hopelessly self centred when it comes to practice.<br /><br />I need to just do it.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-50895849193964988192010-07-23T12:37:00.001-07:002010-07-23T13:23:53.539-07:00Taking InventoryFor the past 10 or so years, my focus has been on the journey within. Figuring myself out, figuring God out, figuring me and God out......and all that.<br /><br />When I look around my internal room, I can say I'm content with the results of my rearranging and tidying up. It feels okay to just sit for a while. My faith has been analyzed, tested, turned up side down and it's fitting comfortably.<br /><br />So here we are, God and me, sitting quite contently in my inner room.<br /><br />However, it's become increasingly apparent how much my marriage is in need of attention. Perhaps I've been self focused for just a little too long.<br /><br />In the past couple of years, my husband and I have agreed that we want more. We know it could be better. But then we go back to regular life, not quite knowing how to start, lacking courage to take a step.<br /><br />Things really blew up in January when unexpectedly, I had to spend 6 weeks on crutches. The stress of having to rely on my husband and children brought out in me so many resentments, frustrations and hurts. Hurts relating to not feeling cherished.<br /><br />That time of adversity was a real wake up call for the both of us. Things are still up and down, but we're taking it seriously and we've both agreed we don't want walk away.<br /><br />The fists are down.<br />We're talking.<br />Unfortunately, neither side has much to say.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-34857677636441935022010-07-08T06:15:00.000-07:002010-07-08T07:09:05.211-07:00Coming Up For AirYes I've been AWOL for quite a while. So what's up? Well life just took over I guess and then it was hard to get that blogging momentum stirred up again. Stuff has been percolating in me.....just nothing concrete.<br /><br />But I miss blogging! I miss all you guys. Still been around the sphere......I'm sure you've seen me here and there. <br /><br />So I thought I'd try the babbling thing. Be off the cuff. I'm not much of a babbler.....I like to have it all analyzed, double checked, packaged and pristine before I press the publish button you know. So this is a new thing for me.<br /><br />Wow - I kind of like this....it just flows.....so much less pressure......<br /><br />Quick update for now:<br /><br />Ended 2009 on a lovely <a href="http://www.sayulitalife.com/">Sayulita</a> vacation with the extended family. An absolutely wonderful place if you like the hodgy podgy kind of Mexico and can handle the roosters crowing in the wee hours of the morning along with the random dogs, ducks and children outside your door. There are many lovely and luxurious places to stay scattered through the town, great food of all kinds and everything is walking distance.<br /><br />Started 2010 with some minor knee cartilage surgery that left me on crutches for SIX WHOLE WEEKS!!! If you are a mom with a job and a home to run you can totally understand how this amounted to a death sentence for me. It certainly brought out the worst in me and I learned that I DO NOT handle adversity all that well.<br /><br />In February, while still on crutches, our city hosted the Olympics. I was bummed because it was hard to participate but I still got out to a hockey game. The torch came right by our street. The whole city and neighbouring towns were in party mode and the atmosphere euphoric. A truly great experience!<br /><br />So with summer vacation upon me, kids home from school, free of schedules and commitments, I can sit back and take a breather. As I take inventory of my inner space, something has shifted. Although I can point to a few changes in focus here and there, I just can't put my finger on it. Thus the babbling. I figure if I just write it might come out with some kind of structure rather than left all fragmented and formless inside.<br /><br />Enough for now.<br /><br />I'll be back.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-61877639517254187432009-11-25T18:55:00.000-08:002009-11-25T19:16:10.490-08:00Touched By The Fathers Love!; In the Palm of His HandI'm participating in <a href="http://gracetalkwithdaveda.blogspot.com/2009/11/touched-by-fathers-love.html">Daveda's invitation</a> to join her in sharing our stories of being touched by God's love. Daveda says "<em>knowing the love and favor of our Father, is most definitely worthy of praise and a thankful heart. I hope you will join us."</em> I agree. I love to hear stories of God's presence in the lives of others. It builds my faith.<br /><br />I have posted this story before, over a year ago and it's my most popular post. It seems a lot of people google search about being in the palm of God's hand and find their way to my story. This story is what sealed the deal for me that God is truly a personal God and knows me intimately.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/R7kD0kchThI/AAAAAAAAAB0/kG5z7cEkaLg/s1600-h/dress-rehearsal.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; FLOAT: left; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168166249055735314" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/R7kD0kchThI/AAAAAAAAAB0/kG5z7cEkaLg/s320/dress-rehearsal.jpg" /></a> <em>And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,</em><em> who</em><em> have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28<br /></em><br /><br />A few years ago, God spoke to me through a painting. He put my whole life into perspective and securely anchored my soul.<br /><br />When my second daughter was a little over a year old, and the oldest one four, my husband and I made the decision not to have any more children. We were happy with the size of our family and wanted to move on with our lives. However, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss for the chance to have a son as well and hold a baby of my own one more time.<br /><br />Oddly, this decision led me to think about getting a piano. Since I had two girls I definitely wanted them to play the piano. I found a beautiful 1918 converted player piano that looked lovely in our home. I dug out my old music books and began to tinker with tunes long-forgotten. As my fingers found their familiar place on the keys, it brought me back to my early teenage years, before the solitary disciplines of music were put aside for a social life.<br /><br />The music opened up a longing and a passion in me that had been sitting dormant. A grieving in my heart emerged for the loss of my own identity because, in the years that followed, fitting in with the crowd became my priority. I learned to put on a new face for each area of my life, and lost my own. I began to wonder how things might be different now had I made other choices then. My heart was wavering with insecurity and the music was bringing it to the surface.<br /><br />Having the piano in my home reminded me of a print I had seen years earlier. It depicts a young girl playing a striking grand piano. Her eyes are interlocked with her little sister’s, whose hand is perched on the keyboard. I remembered standing in the art store 15 years earlier, the picture tugging at my heartstrings as I admired the soft pink dresses and the black patent shoes. I remembered thinking at the time, “<em>If I ever have girls, I am getting this picture.”<br /></em><br />When I popped into an art store in the mall and described the painting, the clerk knew it right away. It was a well-known painting by Greg Olsen, entitled “Dress Rehearsal”. She said it could be ordered in as a framed special and if I didn’t like it I didn’t have to buy it. That seemed good to me since the idea of picking out matting and a frame seemed overwhelming to a perfectionist like me. When it arrived, it was more than I could have imagined, beautifully framed to match my home.<br /><br />As that picture hung in my living room its significance became apparent. For one thing, it was uncanny how much the two girls in the picture looked like my own. The hair and facial features were the same for each girl. Although the girls in the picture were a little older their age difference matched. In fact, as my youngest has grown up, she is convinced that it is her in the picture and wants to know where the pretty dress is that she was wearing!<br /><br />Then God <em>spoke </em>to me in my heart. He got my attention with that picture and He told me about my life.<br /><br /><em>“Your life is in the palm of my hand”.</em><br /><br /><em>"I saw your longing in that art store years ago and I have given you the desire of your heart. "</em><br /><br /><em>"Everything now is meant to be</em>. "<br /><br />“<em>Do not regret anything, because your life circumstances have brought you your husband, your children and your identity. Don’t worry about not having any more children, because everything is good as it is.”<br /></em><br />As it began to sink in, this message brought me an incredible peace and security. My marriage and relationships improved because of my secure heart. I was somehow different and it showed.<br /><br />You may wonder how I can be so sure it was God who spoke to me. It’s hard to put into words but it’s like having knowledge in your mind all at one time that you know you didn’t make up yourself.<br /><br />It’s like having a dream with the story all laid out before you and all you do is observe, not remembering how it came into your mind.<br /><br />It’s like how you know when a puzzle piece fits.<br /><br />The Bible says, “My sheep hear my voice.” I <em>just knew</em> that this was the Lord’s voice and not my own. I have always had a faith in God but He became so real then. He was actually involved in my very life and thoughts!<br /><br />A couple of years later, God gave me a reminder and a confirmation of His message to me. I went forward for prayer at a church conference, and the person who prayed for me said, “God has you in the palm of His hand.” It was good to know I was still on the right track.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-58823386225796179122009-11-10T11:10:00.000-08:002009-11-10T11:27:46.270-08:00Awesome Interview With Paul Young!I just listened to <a href="http://www.drewmarshall.ca/listen2009.html#091024">this recent interview with Paul Young </a>by Drew Marshall and I whole heartedly recommend taking the time to listen.<br /><br />Paul tells the story of a chance meeting with his abuser that led to forgiveness and closure for both of them.... a real tear jerker. He also sheds light on some of the concepts that he brings up in <em>The Shack</em>. He talks about how God has no expectations of us because he already knows everything about us so he can't be disappointed in us. Disappointment comes from not getting what was expected and expectations come from not knowing.<br /><br />Makes sense to me! So often we feel that God is disappointed in us....that he expects more.<br /><br />I loved it. And you will too.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-76527505994350111972009-10-24T09:00:00.000-07:002010-02-15T13:12:22.610-08:00Throwing myself awayI've been reading <em>A Circle of Quiet</em> by Madeleine L'Engle. My interest in her was spurred on by fellow blogger <a href="http://afundamentalshift.blogspot.com/2009/09/icons-advent-chocolate-and-rest.html">Happy</a>. The name of the book is taken from the special place where Madeleine retreats when she needs a moment alone. <em>"Often I need to get away completely, if only a few minutes. My special place is a small brook in a green glade, a circle of quiet from which there is no visible sign of human beings. I sit for a while, then my impatience, crossness, frustration, are indeed annihilated, and my sense of humor returns." </em>Oh yes, I can relate to this lady.<br /><br />In this autobiographical book Madeleine truly shares herself with the reader....her insights, fears, musings, thoughts on writing and her spirituality. I've found it to be food for my soul.<br /><br />Particularly compelling for me in my quest to <a href="http://grains-of-truth.blogspot.com/2009/08/want-piece-of-humble-pie.html">cultivate humility </a>is a part early in the book where she talks of pride, self-consciousness and humility.<br /><br />"<em>When we are self-conscious, we cannot be wholly aware: we must throw ourselves out first. This throwing ourselves away is the act of creativity. So, when we wholly concentrate, like a child in play, or an artist at work, then we share in the act of creating. We not only escape time, we also escape our self-conscious selves.</em> <em>The Greeks have a word for ultimate self-consciousness which I find illuminating: hubris: pride: pride in the sense of putting oneself in the centre of the universe.......The moment that humility becomes self-conscious, it becomes hubris. One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time. Therefore, the act of creating-painting a picture, singing a song, writing a story-is a humble act? This was a new though to me. <strong>Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration of something or someone else."</strong></em><br /><em></em><br />To me this speaks of the selflessness that Jesus talks about.... putting others first.....being a servant...dying to self. I find in my life that I withhold out of my own self-consciousness. I miss out on the essence of the moment and other people. I'm too worried about what I look like, how I fit in, how I'm coming across, to truly just be. Or as Madeleine would say <em>to live ontologically</em>. - a concept she explores throughout the book.<br /><br />I'm inspired by this thought. Rather than trying to minimize myself in an effort to be humble and selfless could I simply forget about myself and see where that takes me? It seems soooo....well....<em>reckless.</em> I like it!<br /><br />Any thoughts? Please join me in a discussion.<br /><em></em>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-25769153584355629332009-10-17T11:00:00.000-07:002009-10-17T11:06:07.087-07:00Making your day<a href="http://karenpadgett.blogspot.com/2009/09/queen-of-hearts-7-years.html">This story </a>is truly uplifting. It will make your day.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-33431769307728228672009-08-30T08:57:00.000-07:002009-09-10T11:44:55.926-07:00Want a piece of humble pie?<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SqlHylWAXRI/AAAAAAAAAE8/5WxJDmv0BCQ/s1600-h/images.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 127px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 95px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379910164214209810" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SqlHylWAXRI/AAAAAAAAAE8/5WxJDmv0BCQ/s320/images.jpg" /></a><br /><div>One of the greatest workings of God in my daily life is when he opens my eyes to truth, allowing me to see something new. When this happens, I have a choice to walk in that truth, adopting it into my internal posture. Or I can choose to slough it aside, especially if I find it too hard or too painful.<br /><br />This summer I had one of those light bulb moments. This profound "Aha" moment was, of all places, during memory verse time while I was helping with my 8 year <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">old's</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">VBS</span> group. The theme for the week was "Be a World Changer" and the virtue for the day was "Be Wise" The scripture being James 3:17<br /><br /><em>But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. </em><br /><em></em><br />I have always highly valued wisdom. As a teenager I remember praying for wisdom above all else. I love the story of Solomon. Proverbs is one of my favorite books of the Bible. As I thought about this passage that I've read many times before, it dawned on me that I have valued the wrong kind of wisdom. Verses 13 to 16 told me more about that wisdom.<br /><br /><em>If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">unspiritual</span>, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.</em><br /><em></em><br />Wisdom breeds humility and yields to others. It puts others first rather than self. When I examined my own desire for wisdom I squirmed as I realized that it came from selfishness and pride. To be painfully honest, I want wisdom so that I will look good. I want to be able to always know what the right thing to do or say is without ever making a mistake. I want others to like and admire me. I want to be better than others. It has nothing to do with humility at all! It looks so ugly when I write it down like that but it never seemed that way. It's so deceiving.<br /><br />If you have been tracking with me this past year you know that I have been struggling to be free from <a href="http://grains-of-truth.blogspot.com/2008/11/breakthrough.html">resentment.</a> The Lord's answer has been to yield my spirit to others and cultivate a servant's heart. And now I learn that God has actually been giving me the keys to obtaining the wisdom that I have prayed for all my life.<br /><br />In the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">topsy</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">turvy</span> kingdom of God, the key to wisdom is found in humility. The wisdom of the world stems from pride and selfishness. I do value humility as well. I just never saw how wisdom and humility were so closely connected. In fact, it was the topic of my <a href="http://grains-of-truth.blogspot.com/2007/09/grain-of-truth-1-humility-rules.html">very first blog post</a>. </div><div></div><br /><div>Now that is humbling. It's time to go and eat my pie.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /><em></em><br /></div><em></em>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-21081744610894972772009-08-03T15:57:00.001-07:002009-09-08T07:40:09.693-07:00As Promised<div align="center">The Dress<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/Sndsy1cv6qI/AAAAAAAAAE0/H3JSDs-EagE/s1600-h/Robyn2IMG_0362.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365877101632154274" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/Sndsy1cv6qI/AAAAAAAAAE0/H3JSDs-EagE/s320/Robyn2IMG_0362.jpg" /></a>After<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SndsZReHBSI/AAAAAAAAAEs/cA6CK_LPH9o/s1600-h/Picture+234+(3).jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365876662477456674" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SndsZReHBSI/AAAAAAAAAEs/cA6CK_LPH9o/s320/Picture+234+(3).jpg" /></a><br />Before<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/Sndr7HJgWkI/AAAAAAAAAEk/BkxzvgVNiAc/s1600-h/robynd+(2).jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 156px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 208px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365876144310606402" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/Sndr7HJgWkI/AAAAAAAAAEk/BkxzvgVNiAc/s400/robynd+(2).jpg" /></a><span xmlns=""><br /><br /><p align="left">It's a little late, but <a href="http://grains-of-truth.blogspot.com/2009/03/life-happens.html">as promised</a> I'm posting the results of my journey with <a href="http://www.uweightloss.com/3secrets.aspx">U <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Weightloss</span></a>. I reached my goal to lose 25 lbs. in 12 weeks, which was just in time for the dreaded bridesmaid dress to arrive. The dress, which was snug when I ordered it, had to be drastically taken in. I'm now back to the weight I was when I got married 15 years ago. I'm 5'7" and weigh a comfortable 140 lbs. </p><p align="left">I'm not going to take this for granted. It was a few stressful years with work and young children that contributed to my weight gain. I've learned that eating healthy, regular <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">exercise</span> and taking care of myself benefits everyone. It's been a long time that I've felt so good physically and mentally. </p><p align="left">I was really <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">disappointed</span> with myself before I started this and I didn't know how I could reach my goal. I'm glad I had the help of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">UWeightloss</span> because I don't think I could have done it in the time period I needed on my own. However, now I have changed my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">lifestyle</span> enough that I know I can keep with it. The <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">program</span> involved regular exercise and a hormonally balanced diet that is based on the diet of <a href="http://www.thehormonediet.com/">Dr. Natasha Turner</a>. It involves eating meals that are balanced between 40% protein 30% <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">carbs</span> and 30% good fat and then switching after a month or so to 40% <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">carbs</span>, 30% <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">protein</span> and 30% good fat. I found that my body really responded to this way of eating. I feel very comfortable throughout the day because it keeps the blood sugar even. I lost 5 inches around my middle which is where I had packed on the pounds. </p><p align="left">This journey has shown me that I can reach a goal. If I set my mind to something, make a plan and follow it, the results will happen. I think in life, we get lost in the muddle and although we have dreams, we don't make the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">conscious</span> and practical effort to realize them. Sometimes, we don't even really know what we want. I have found that I am very goal oriented. Once I get started, and invest time and money in something, I keep going. I guess that's the accountant in me.<br /></p><div align="left"><br /><br /><br /></div><p align="left"><br /></p><div align="left"><br /><br /><br /></div></span></div>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-84420734854781513232009-07-05T09:38:00.000-07:002009-07-08T14:02:44.750-07:00Importunate Prayer<strong>im⋅por⋅tu⋅nate </strong><br />–adjective<br />1. urgent or persistent in solicitation, sometimes annoyingly so.<br />2. pertinacious, as solicitations or demands.<br />3. troublesome; annoying: importunate demands from the children for attention.<br /><br />I love that word! Most translations call it the parable of the <em>persistent</em> widow. But I think the word <em>importunate</em> packs a lot more punch in explaining the way Jesus meant for us to pray.<br /><br />I've been pondering the tale of the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2018:1-8;&version=51;">importunate widow</a> these days while reading from E.M. Bounds about prayer. Honesty, my prayer life has never been fueled by this level of feistiness. I guess I just give up after a while of praying about something. After all, God knows what's best so if it's meant to come about it will. And it seems almost like a vain repetition to make a point of praying the same thing over and over again. Then there's the uncomfortable feeling of being too "name it and claim it" as if I'm trying to order God around. But...... to be really honest...... I'm just too prideful to be a pest. To be that <em>desperate.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Blessed are the poor in spirit. </em>I think that can very well mean blessed be the desperate. I admit that I have just not been desperate and humble enough to stand importunately before God. In fact, I've been rather mamby pamby. But I've had enough now because I've been <a href="http://grains-of-truth.blogspot.com/2009/05/stuck.html">stuck</a> for long enough!<br /><br />The words of E.M Bounds are changing my attitude. <em>"Energy, courage and perseverance must back the prayers that heaven respects and God hears......Persistence is made up of intensity, perseverance and patience.......Faith functions in connection with prayer and of course, has its inseparable association with persistence. <strong>But the latter quality drives the prayer to the believing point.</strong>"</em><br /><em></em><br />Bounds goes on to say <em>"The absolute necessity of persistent prayer is plainly stated in the Word of God and needs to be stated and restated today.....Love of ease, spiritual laziness, and religious indifference all operate against this type of petitioning."</em><br /><br />I feel like I'm at a standstill within myself. I'm on a merry-go-round, revisiting the same situations over and over again. I've come to the realization that God is the only one who can help me get off. It's time to lose the pride and the self efficiency. It's time to be like those desperate ones in the Bible whose faith healed them. People like the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%207:24-30;Mark%2010:46-52;&version=51;">blind Bartimaeus or the Syrophenician woman. </a><br /><br />Here I come God. I'm going to be a pest now. I'll be here everyday, pounding on the door. Just letting you know.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-66345239726677710322009-05-31T08:47:00.000-07:002009-06-01T07:45:59.931-07:00Stuck<em>Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. - Ephesians 5: 1-2</em><br /><em></em><br />I'm stuck in my spiritual life while <em>haunted</em> with this scripture. It dawned on me recently that the whole sacrifice thing has to do with living in love. When something gives it's life for another, the aroma is infinitely pleasing to God. The way that we lay our lives down for others is by putting them before us. To deny our ourselves for others.<br /><br />That is just too dang hard for me! And that is why I'm stuck. Nothing else really matters about this Christian life if I can't at least do that. So why bother?<br /><br />Oh I can be nice, loving, giving and self sacrificing in a myriad of ways. I look good on the outside, and it's honestly genuine. However, if someone makes me feel the least bit stepped on, unappreciated, taken for granted or devalued, then look out. I won't be laying my life down for them anymore! Then there's the people who just plain annoy and irritate me. I'm not so willing to put them first either.<br /><br />Once I heard Beth Moore say that 90% of our sin is in our reactions. That is totally the case with me. I could be so holy and spiritual if I lived alone on a desert island. I don't go looking to sin, but other people get to me. I just can't stop taking offense, harbouring resentment and feeling self protective. I just want to be able to let it all go and live in love despite others. What is wrong with me??? I long to be.....unfettered.<br /><br />I've been thinking of something I read a while back, that if you can't seem to stop a certain sin, then you just don't hate it enough. I think that's why I'm writing about this here. I really do hate this and it makes it more real when I write about it.<br /><br /><em>Father - I own this sin - I hate this sin - forgive me and deliver me from it. I put my trust in you working in me to accomplish the impossible. AMEN</em>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-74906047192361595552009-05-28T11:17:00.000-07:002009-05-28T11:27:05.169-07:00More PodcastsAnother place I like to tune into for podcasts is <a href="http://www.thegodjourney.com/podcast.html">The God Journey</a> with Brad Cummings and Wayne Jacobson. These guys basically banter about their own journey of losing the religious spirit and engaging in an authentic relationship with God. They make us think about things differently. They are fun and refreshing and I always come away feeling just a little bit lighter.<br /><br />I'd love to hear of other good sites to listen in on. Leave me a link if you know of any.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-47123822632868118222009-04-13T10:55:00.000-07:002009-04-13T11:45:05.391-07:00Drew MarshallOne of my favorite things to do while working at home is listening to pod casts. My current favorite is <a href="http://www.drewmarshall.ca/index.html">Drew Marshall</a>. You can find a list of interviews to download <a href="http://www.drewmarshall.ca/guests.html">here</a><br /><br />Drew is a former pastor who was disillusioned by the religious institution and he has a few things to say about that. He's current, in touch with today and very entertaining. But mostly, he's a great interviewer and people person. Insightful and authentic, he gets places in interviews with people that are astounding.<br /><br />The interviews are all spiritually based and he always zeros in on the heart of his subject. There are chats with numerous celebrities, actors and musicians whom you would never have know were authentic Jesus followers. Listening to their stories has really inspired hope in me that Jesus is not as unpopular as the media would make us think. Some of my favorites are Alice Cooper, Dyan Cannon, Kathy Ireland and Jane Russel.<br /><br />Many of the interviews are with the big cheeses in the Christian world like Chuck Swindoll, David Jeremiah, David Wilkinson, Rick Warren and Brennen Manning. You see a side of these guys that never comes across when they are being Pastors and Authors. He's done a few interviews with William P. Young, author of The Shack that are really worth listening to. I especially enjoyed hearing from Chuck Swindoll. He's the real deal!<br /><br />There's also interviews with people from opposing spiritual camps like Deepak Choprak, the president of the Church of Scientology, the high priest of the Church of Satan and a leader in the Mormon Church. Drew asks the good questions and draws out some very great dialogue.<br /><br />Has anyone else heard of him? What do you think?Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-75270866558094610672009-03-11T10:13:00.000-07:002009-03-11T10:42:56.753-07:00Life HappensOh my Gosh!!! I've been so neglectful of my blog.<br /><br />Life has been busy........sick kids........sick husband.........15 year anniversary spent with hubby on the couch coughing up green stuff. Four family birthdays three days in a row. Couldn't have planed that one if we tried! A weekend trip to Whistler Mountain.<br /><br />But I'm healthy! Somehow, I missed the sick boat. I think it's cause I wash my hands all the time and never take a sip of anyone e<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">lse's</span> drink.<br /><br />Recently I spent an insane amount of money to join a new <a href="http://www.uweightloss.com/">weight loss clinic</a> that opened up near my house. I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">usually</span> not one to go for something like that and it took a bit a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">convincing</span> husband to agree but I knew I needed the support they could give me.<br /><br />My motivations being:<br /><ol><li>15 year <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">anniversary</span> this year</li><li>25 high school reunion in August</li><li>Bridesmaid in June - do not want to be a 42 year old fat bridesmaid! Have you seen the dresses these day??? They are not the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">puffy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">taffeta</span> numbers of my day. They are all <em><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">strapless</span> </em>and <em>slinky</em>. I've never worn something like that in my life!</li></ol><br />It's not rocket science. Eat less. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Exercise</span>.<br /><br />Seems easy but it's not. I've tried to lose the 25lbs. that have crept up on me in my early 40's and it's just not budging.<br /><br />This is week 3 and I've lost 8 pounds and 12 inches. I'm so happy and inspired. I am also, enjoying the support with meal making, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">exercise</span> and one on coaching sessions. I guess I'm a go for the gold star kind of girl so if no one is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">checking</span> up on me I cop ou. I've realize how <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">disappointed</span> in myself I was getting. It's very detoxifying to talk about it and to be doing something productive about it.<br /><br />And I'm not caring about anyone but me right now. My family's getting crappy meals but I'm loving mine. It's sort of like the Zone diet where each meal is balanced so you don't have swings in blood sugar and cravings. I'm taking off to the gym <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">regularly</span>. I have so much more energy and NO MORE HEADACHES.<br /><br />Husband is supportive which is great.<br /><br />I am guaranteed to lose my 25lbs by MAY 15. When that day comes, I will post before and after pictures. I can hardly wait!Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-57153112974656066282009-01-23T12:42:00.001-08:002009-01-24T11:11:36.546-08:00Ooglie BooglieThe other day, I posted the link to the YouTube video that made me laugh so hard. I even said to myself " I just need to laugh like that more."<br /><br />Yesterday, I met with my morning group of ladies after the Christmas break. We call ourselves the <em>Ooglie Booglie</em> <em>Girls.</em> We picked up the name from one husband who teased his wife that what we do (hear from the Lord) is <em>ooglie booglie</em>!<br /><br />As we start fresh in a new year, we asked the Lord what he wanted to give each one of us as we work through our book together in the next few months. He said he was going to give me <em>joy and laughter</em>.<br /><br />It's like he's prepared my heart for it with that video. He gave me a taste of what I've been missing and created a desire for more. Then he told me he had that very gift in store for me!<br /><br />I feel like I am starting out 2009 on a new plateau. The past 10 years have been a time of introspection and personal growth. A time of figuring out who I am and who God is. A time of finding my grove.<br /><br />Although there have been times of joy and laughter, my spirit has been heavy and it shows in my countenance. My children sometimes call me on it. "Mom, are you mad?" or "Mom, you're in La La land." I've been a lot more serious than I need to be and not always present for the moment.<br /><br />But something has changed in me. I feel that I can emerge, a little more sure of myself, a little more sure of God and a lot more light hearted.<br /><br />I say Amen! to that. I'm ready for a little more laughter. That kind of belly laugh that's under girded by joy and gratitude. A certain lightness of being that's in touch with the things that really matter.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-23385577633923381702009-01-22T12:01:00.000-08:002009-01-22T12:29:14.097-08:00Time For A Good Laugh!This YouTube clip from the Ellen show is the funniest thing I heard in a long time. Ellen is talking on the phone to an 87 year old lady named Gladys. If you have a couple of minutes to watch it will make your day.<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=83JDXXKzOXg">I LOVE JESUS BUT I DRINK A LITTLE</a></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-83103083531350494652008-12-20T16:18:00.000-08:002008-12-20T16:29:39.774-08:00It's starting to look a lot like Christmas!<ul><li>Halls are decked</li><li>Stockings hung</li><li>Goodies baked</li><li>Gifts wrapped</li><li>Company arrived</li><li>Snow's here </li></ul><p>So now it's time to relax with a little rum and eggnog and a hand full of Licorice Allsorts and enjoy some time off with my family.</p><p>Merry Christmas to you all!</p><p><em>Love Ruth</em></p><p></p><p></p>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-8478591295730251502008-11-03T00:11:00.000-08:002009-09-08T07:39:29.391-07:00BreakthroughDoes anyone else struggle with <strong>RESENTMENT</strong>? I can honestly say it's the single most pervasive negative emotion that camps out in my head! Or maybe its just the loudest one. At any rate, it's been my companion for a <em>long time</em> and the Lord has called me on it <em>several times. </em><br /><br />Mostly it has to do with housework and is directed at my family with my husband bearing the brunt of it. I honestly don't know if I would have signed up had I known that being a wife and mother meant that my purpose in life was to be picking up after other people who recklessly take advantage of me, turning me into a ranting, nagging lunatic. I'm being dramatic here and I wouldn't give up my family for the world but this is how I feel at times.<br /><br />Resentment creeps into other relationships as well. It takes the form of withholding, waiting for others to give me what I think I deserve before I give back.<br /><br />I have <u>owned it</u> - <u>confessed it</u> - <u>repented of it</u> ......<em>several times</em>. When I harbour resentment, I feel guilty and then I resent myself. It's a vicious cycle!<br /><br />This summer, I had enough. Why Oh Lord do I struggle with this so much??!!!! I realized that I needed to get to the root of my resentment. It wasn't enough to identify it as sin and be grieved about it, and I have to admit that when it came down to it, I wasn't really willing to give it up. In fact, I felt entitled to this reaction to perceived wrongs against me. Entitled to entertain this insidious relative of <em>unforgiveness. </em>Entitled to withhold until the other party gives something too.<br /><br />So I sat down with pen and paper, and had a little conversation with God. I find that the answers take form more easily when I write down what I feel God is saying to me.<br /><br />Why am I resentful? <em>Expectations of others.</em><br /><br />What are my expectations of others? <em>Validation </em><br /><em><br /></em>Why do I need to be validated? <em>Loneliness and Isolation (with a picture of me in a deep well by myself)</em><br /><br />Why do I feel lonely and isolated?<em>You don't trust people until they prove themselves to you. You don't believe you are valid until someone proves it to you. It prevents you from having a servant's heart. </em><br /><em><br /></em>How do I get a servant's heart? <em>I have chosen you!!! Your name is in the book of life. You have been validated by me!!! For this reason you can die to your expectations of others and have a servants heart towards them.</em><br /><br />Yes!! Breakthrough!!!! As these words penetrated my heart - I understood how my resentment is attached to my own need for validation. I keep people on the hook if I don't feel appreciated. I keep them at arms length if I feel rejected. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2018:21-40;&version=51;">The parable of the unforgiving debtor </a>came to my mind and I saw myself there.<br /><br /><em>Lord, help me to have a restful spirit that finds its validity in you. Help me to love others lavishly from the abundance of my heart.</em><br /><br />Although, the grip of resentment has weakened, I still struggle with it almost daily. I wonder if I will ever be able to die to myself. I long to have the heart of the unprofitable servant, the one who does his daily tasks cheerfully without expecting anything back.<br /><br />As we sang <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNousF-YMHo&feature=related">this song </a>today in church, the words gripped me. With tears streaming down my checks, I knew that this was my answer.<br /><br /><em>Amazing love how can it be</em><br /><em>that you my King should die for me</em><br /><em>Amazing love I know it's true</em><br /><em><strong>It's my joy to honour you</strong></em><br /><em><strong>in all I do.<br /></strong></em>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-24758686258064847182008-10-17T14:03:00.000-07:002008-10-17T14:24:42.957-07:00Fun with sitemetreI've been having fun with <a href="http://www.sitemeter.com/?a=home"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">sitemetre</span> </a> now that I finally got one for myself. It's so awesome to see that people are stopping by from all over the world! Not too many Canadians though - other than my own personal lurkers who know me in real life and my fellow blogging <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Canuck</span> from <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">across</span> the country , <a href="http://valorosa.blogspot.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Valorosa</span></a>. I wonder where all the Canadian <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">bloggers</span> are?<br /><br />The Google searches really get me. I tend to use a lot of cliches and catchy little phrases in my writing and titles so I come up on searches for them. But who would have thought that my little blog would come up on a search for <a href="http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=1T4ADBF_enCA285CA286&q=nose%20booger%20dream%20interpretation&btnG=Search">nose booger dream interpretation</a>??? Just check it out for yourself!<br /><br />I wonder what that person was really looking for? It just seems so random. Anyways - if you comeback, I'm glad you found me. Stop in and say hi.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-67049581745374206862008-09-05T15:35:00.000-07:002008-09-06T15:09:01.704-07:00My Burning BushI'm participating in a synchro blog that <a href="http://www.robbymac.org/2008/09/getting-here-from-there-synchro-blog.html">robbymac</a> proposed to share our earliest "charismatic" experience. He encourages us to "<em>remind ourselves and tell each other our stories of how we first became acquainted with, and eager for, the felt presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives."</em><br /><em></em><br />I think this is a fabulous idea. It builds faith and authentic community when we share our stories of God's realness. I encourage you to visit his post and read some of the other stories there.<br /><br />About 6 years ago, I experienced for the first time, the Holy Spirit supernaturally meeting me person to person. Before this, my faith was based... well.... just on faith. I had never experienced God in any tangible way. I never had my own burning bush experience.<br /><br />A friend invited me to visit a charismatic church with her. At the end of the service I went forward to receive prayer. I hoped that somehow I would receive something more than what I would expect at my home conservative evangelical church. I was very hungry to experience God in a real way. Having hit a cross road where I was pretty sure that God was asking me to move into women's ministry leadership in my own church, I didn't want to go any further unless I knew for sure that God was really involved and would equip me.<br /><br />I was hoping for some real fire from heaven. Eager for this baptism of the HS that I had heard about, I wanted to know that God was real.<br /><br />The woman who approach me to pray with me told me she had a word for me. <em>There was a brokenness in me that God wants to heal. He wants me to come to him whole. But he wants my permission first</em>.<br /><br />I was surprised. Me broken? But I've had a perfect life! Nothing bad has happened to me and I've succeeded in most things I've set out to do. I have a nice husband and children. A home. A good career. What do I have to be broken about?<br /><br />I told her yes I do want God to heal me. I want whatever he has for me. She prayed for me but nothing much seemed to happen. She told me that God has already equipped me and that he will give me grace for each moment as I sit at the feet of Jesus.<br /><br />No fire. No nothing.<br /><br />I was peeved after that! And dumbfounded! God knows how hard I had searched for him. How long I have waited. How patient I have been. I felt that he had denied me. As I wrote in my journal <em>" I'm jealous of those who God meets so readily. I'm tired of waiting in line. I want to be picked!"<br /><br /></em>The next day, everything changed. I wrote about it in my journal and I will share it here:<br /><br /><em>A Day of Mourning - June 4/2002</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>It's good that my husband is out of town this week. It's given me some time to hash this out with God. We are having a counseling session.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>God has been bringing to mind all the crappy things that ever happened to me. It's nothing really out of the ordinary. "Sh#t happens" so they say. But I guess my spirit was wounded and the wounds festered. It does have a common theme though. I have been wounded by my friendships. I have sought intimacy through friendships and have been let down, misled, sometimes abused. I see how it is affecting my current friendships too.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>At first it was painful as these things came to mind. It seemed strange to let them swirl around in my head and feel them in my gut. I didn't have a choice, the memories just kept coming. And as every school yard mind game, cutting remark or betrayal came to mind, the Lord put his arm around me and said "I was there". As I recall the loneliness of keeping my hurt bottled up, God says, "I was there". The voice inside me is so clear and steady.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>These events occurred over 15-25 years ago but to the Lord and I it was like yesterday. In fact it feels rather good to have this pity party.....to have this time of grieving that God seems to be encouraging. </em><br /><em></em><br /><em>I feel like I did when I was in the hospital for surgery. The surgery is over and there is pain. But there are people taking care of me, giving me drugs and there is a heated blanket wrapped around me. </em><br /><em></em><br /><em>It's exhausting. I am tired and achy. I'm sleeping a lot. It's so weird. I wonder why God chose this way to heal me. Couldn't he just zap me with joy?</em> <em>When I asked my friend this question she said "God can't heal the pain you can't feel." I think there is something in that. I had pretty much stuffed all of this over the years.<br /></em><br />So this is how I became acquainted with a God who is very real and knows me in my inner most being. A God who uses truth to heal. A God who gets our permission before doing surgery.<br /><br />In conclusion, I can only say that I was a very different person after that. I became more sure of God and less sure of me. I softened and became more real. I came to understand the meaning of "when we are weak, he is strong". And I have come to understand what it means to be given grace for the moment. Each day is a step of faith.<br /><br /><em></em>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-91839900693018462832008-08-08T00:30:00.000-07:002009-09-08T07:40:52.776-07:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SJv2c4wMyjI/AAAAAAAAACk/gJ4lVovkTd4/s1600-h/rockmom.jpg"></a><br /><div><br /><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 225px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232046255443234402" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZxULp4fbVqc/SJv2WUgbTmI/AAAAAAAAACc/Oj1q4Jd5e30/s320/rockmom.jpg" width="244" height="160" /></div><div>So..... I'm a 40 year old House Wife/Mom/Accountant. Who would have thunk that trapped inside was a <em>Guitar Totin' Rock Star</em> just waiting to get out????</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />A couple of weeks ago my 11 year old daughter spent her birthday money on Guitar Hero III. I picked this guitar up and started to strum along to some of the old favorites and before you know it I'm a MOM THAT ROCKS!!</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />I can't wait until my next chance to pick up that guitar. I wake up with Pearl Jam running through my head!!! I am determined to beat Lou!!!!</div><div></div><div></div><div><br />And I was reigning champion on <em>Barracuda </em>- the best rock and roll song of all time - until............my 11 year old daughter took my spot on the best score. </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />I have to concede - she is way better than me. She has never even heard these songs before. But her eye hand coordination is amazing. It makes me wonder. Even though I am older and wiser and I know way more than her, she can think faster than me. Is that cause my brain is 40 years old and and hers is 11? Is my brain deteriorating or is it that I have way too much in it that it's getting bogged down like when the computer gets over loaded with programs? I would like to think the latter. I think I'm going to stop thinking so much.</div></div>Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9104161468154212624.post-80589615817397224312008-07-06T10:18:00.000-07:002008-07-06T11:18:24.119-07:00Happy Wife Happy Life!My husband picked up that catchy little phrase some time ago. It stuck with him and he pulls it out every once in a while. In fact, it has become somewhat of a tenet in our marriage.<br /><br />For instance - we might be shopping for a piece of furniture and come to a standstill with differing opinions about what each party feels would be suitable in price, style and functionality. In this case, hubby lays his card on the table. <em>"Okay honey, you decide, after</em> <em>all</em> <em>happy wife happy life." </em>This allows him to save face and let me know that he's doing this to make me happy which of course will make things go well for him too. It's all about the bigger picture.<br /><br />It's true that the woman sets the tone in the home. There's another catchy phrase that rings true - "when mom ain't happy, ain't no one happy".<br /><br />This might not be terribly spiritual but there is a grain of truth to it. In fact I think it's in the bible. It goes something like this. "Husbands obey your wives so it will go well with you". Oh wait - I think it's "Children obey your parents" so forget that.<br /><br />But the bible does ask husbands to love their wives and then tells women to respect their husbands. <em>Eph 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.</em><br /><br />I have always felt that this word of wisdom is the key to a happy marriage. That somehow, it taps into how men and women are created and our basic needs. It's a delicate balance though - easier said than done. I think because woman can withhold respect when they don't feel loved and men can withhold love when they don't feel respected. And to make things more complicated, a husband might be giving what he thinks is love but the wife doesn't receive it as love, and visa versa.<br /><br />Oh well, after almost 15 years of marriage, when my husband gives in to me using the <em>Happy Wife Happy Life</em> card, I feel loved.Ruthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02024613458911435527noreply@blogger.com12