Sunday, July 6, 2008

Happy Wife Happy Life!

My husband picked up that catchy little phrase some time ago. It stuck with him and he pulls it out every once in a while. In fact, it has become somewhat of a tenet in our marriage.

For instance - we might be shopping for a piece of furniture and come to a standstill with differing opinions about what each party feels would be suitable in price, style and functionality. In this case, hubby lays his card on the table. "Okay honey, you decide, after all happy wife happy life." This allows him to save face and let me know that he's doing this to make me happy which of course will make things go well for him too. It's all about the bigger picture.

It's true that the woman sets the tone in the home. There's another catchy phrase that rings true - "when mom ain't happy, ain't no one happy".

This might not be terribly spiritual but there is a grain of truth to it. In fact I think it's in the bible. It goes something like this. "Husbands obey your wives so it will go well with you". Oh wait - I think it's "Children obey your parents" so forget that.

But the bible does ask husbands to love their wives and then tells women to respect their husbands. Eph 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I have always felt that this word of wisdom is the key to a happy marriage. That somehow, it taps into how men and women are created and our basic needs. It's a delicate balance though - easier said than done. I think because woman can withhold respect when they don't feel loved and men can withhold love when they don't feel respected. And to make things more complicated, a husband might be giving what he thinks is love but the wife doesn't receive it as love, and visa versa.

Oh well, after almost 15 years of marriage, when my husband gives in to me using the Happy Wife Happy Life card, I feel loved.


Christy said...

Hi there! You left a comment on my blog, so thanks for that! As far as your topic here - whew! This love, respect, submit thing is always a touchy subject, isn't it? It's a catch 22 thing, I think. Like you said, if the wife doesn't feel loved, respect is withheld. If the husband doesn't feel respected, love is withheld. It's just something that takes constant prayer and a changing of our mind set. Great post!
God bless.

Ruth said...

Hi Christy - thanks for stopping by. Yes a catch 22 is a good way to describe it. Sometime I thinks it's like ping-pong too.

Mike said...

Ruth ~ It's absolutely biblical, its just between the lines! For instance:

"Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem"


Ruth said...

LOl - you're right. It's all there. We just need eyes to see.

Mork said...

I'm the boss of my house I can put as much dish wash in as I want to!!! - this is true. And I now know where my wife has hidden the remote!!!

Ruth said...

Mork it looks like you have discovered the secret to a happy life.

Eye Candy said...

~Greetings Ruth~

~Interesting I have not encountered these thoughts before~

Why is the key to women love and the key to men respect?

Can you give an equivalent response to that of your husband for his basic needs?

I have linked my blog to yours for further exploration.

Thank you for these “grains of truth”.

Honey Brownie said...

Hi there. Really love your blog! It's so inspiring for me. :)
Yes, I agree with you that love and respect are two things that can't be separated in marriage life, since one can't say that one respects other without loving other and one can't say that one loves other without showing respect to other. :)
Btw, do you mind if we exchange link? Be blessed!

Ruth said...

Hello Eye Candy and Honey! I'm glad to have you visit me. Thank you both for your encouraging words.

Eye Candy thanks for the link. And Honey you are most welcome to use my link as well. I love getting new visiters. I will visit your blogs when I have a chance soon.

Eye Candy you asked me:

"Can you give an equivalent response to that of your husband for his basic needs?"

That is a great question. One that I asked myself when I was writing this post, but I couldn't think of anything catchy. The jist of it would be that men need to be respected and supported. Supported in the way that God created Eve to be Adam's helper.

So.....does anyone has any ideas for a catchy phrase?

Valorosa said...

Happy hub lots of grub :-)

Happy husband maybe some diamond.


Ruth said...

"Happy hub lots of grub :-)"

I love it Val! It's so true. Especially with my guy.

Concerned Citizen said...

There is a better saying out there, and it will ensure EVERYONE is happy. It is "HAPPY MAN, HAPPY CLAN", and it is true. If you keep your man happy, then your whole family will be happy beacuse it will be a priority for the man. If a man needs a moment before he opens the door to come in the house, then you have a problem, and you need to fix it fast. If your man is not happy, then he will look elsewhere to find happiness.