The other day, circumstances came up involving friendships that evoked that familiar pang of hurt and sadness of rejection. Oh how I wanted to ignore it, push it down, you know........buck up. For goodness sake I am a grown woman, you'd think I would be past these things. But this time, I felt I needed to consider (IE: wallow in) these feelings and be honest with myself. So after a time of "considering" I asked the Lord to help me with my pain.
So guess what? He answered me in about half an hour. I began to look on the net for a good pod cast to listen to while I worked and came across a message from John Dawson, president of YWAM. I was pleasantly surprised to hear him talking about Ruth and how her name is derived from the Hebrew word for "friend".
As I listened, I realized this message contained the healing words from the Lord that I needed. I started to see myself as God sees me and understand that God has created me to be a good friend. It is no coincidence that I have chosen Ruth's identity for myself. God actually created me to identify with her. Pretty cool huh???
John Dawson says that the story of Ruth is "intoxicating in its simplicity.... Ruth loved with a reckless love that was free of conniving and working relationships to her own advantage." Ruth covenanted herself to Naomi who was an embittered old women. She was willing to submit herself to the process without expectations.
He goes on to say that the human structure will always be inadequate....the Lord is our guarantor....not people Even though there is pain in the refiners fire, we need to maintain a childlike posture towards the Lord. We must avoid trying to seize control of the process.
In my own life, it is friendships that have caused me the deepest sorrow. I do have many wonderful friends who I am ever so grateful for. However, deep down, I am gun shy. I don't like that feeling of needing to hold back in friendships out of fear and then feeling pain when my fears are confirmed. There must be a better way. Many people deal with this pain by telling themselves they don't care. Or, as John Dawson says, using manipulation to get what they want.
I choose Ruth's way. An extravagant, selflessness in friendship that is free of EXPECTATIONS!!! Having a heart that is willing to go with the process and savor the good. Trusting the Lord to be my guarantor.
I recommend John's message if you have some time. There are some lengthy introductions that you can skip over. Unfortunately the message gets cut off at the end but it is still very worth while. He is very humorous and insightful with many facets of the Christian walk. There is something there for everyone. You can find the pod cast at http://www.newsongministry.com/ under "Sermon Podcast". Nov 10th.
I welcome your comments and insights about a better way with friendships.
6 comments:
Hi, Ruth.
I stopped by finally after seeing comments from you on my blog, and on Kelly's blog(Spontaneous Deliberation).
Thanks for your encouragement.
I found it delightful...the comment you made today on Kelly's article.
You may not know it, but she and her husband run a prophetic school out in Langley, BC.
If you even have questions about stuff like that, she is a great source.
I'm glad you are going where God would have you go...and I'm glad you, too, are courageous enough to ask the hard questions.
It's cool finding others that are walking out similar paths.
I'll be back to read more often.
:)
Hey Ruth,
This is a deep post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us :D.
Well, I am afraid I cannot tell you much about friendship: I have very few friends (that can be counted by the fingers in my hands); cause having too many "friends" is not my thing (I really think that quality is better than quantity)!
I have had too many disappointments with so-called friend; but I have learned a lot of things from it. And one of the things is to always follow my intuition...
God is the only truly trustworthy friend, since He never disappoints you and everything He does is for your own good! :D
Cheers
Hi Che, thanks for stopping by. Yes it is good to find kindred spirits in search of authentic faith. I have enjoyed your willingness to share your thought processes in your blog.
So Kelly is just around the corner from me you say? I will check out her website.
Please come back again. Your contributions are welcome.
Hi Max,
I am not surprised that you have a small circle because you are a deep thinker. It's hard to be spread out and go deep as well. However, you are such a good on-line shmoozer.....you have friends all over the world! How do balance your on-line life with your real one? I find you to be a positive and encouraging pressence on-line. You truly bless people people with your words.
Hi Ruth! Great post. I used to expect the worst from people so would wait for them to prove against all obstacles that they genuinely wanted to be in my life! Crazy I know, but so many of us do it!
Because of my own sense of worthlessness I found it so hard to believe anyone else would see value in me and only those who refused to be shut out proved in my mind at least that they wouldn't see my worthlessness and abandon me!
It was once God began to heal that brokenness in me and show me who I am in him that I was able to accept people and their desired level of involvement in my life based on who THEY were, not who I perceived myself to be.
Now I put myself out there, love with abandon those who God gives and love with abandon those who don't want to be my "best buddy". It doesn't hurt now cause I know it's not a reflection on my worth. I learned like you have from Ruth that generosity of spirit comes from God in us therefore I don't own it, just pass it on.
Hi Rachel...thanks for stopping by and sharing your inner journey. We are all so much alike but we never know until we share it.
I would be tuly honored if you would link my blog from yours. I would like to do the same with yours when I get my blogroll going. I am somewhat new to blogging and just figuring it all out.
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